I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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