we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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