Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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