yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
