i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
