Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize