Are we in a gay sports bar?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
