It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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