Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
