you would pick up someone in the library
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
