I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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