Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
