Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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