; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
