the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize