Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
