So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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