Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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