And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
