just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want her autograph on my taint
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
