whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
