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she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize