I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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