First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
