Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
