Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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