I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
