never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
