I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
