escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at about main and main street
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
