Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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