I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
