Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
