Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
