Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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