Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize