yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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