I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
