I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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