So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
