well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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