come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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