Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
