Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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