we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
