Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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