Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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