no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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