Just cropdusted the office
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I believe in your delicious
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
