I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
