I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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