The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
