u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
