whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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