ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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