Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
