I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
