didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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