just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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