sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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