put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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