I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
