my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize