i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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