I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Farmville is her only friend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
