i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
