he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
