I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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