I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize