It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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