Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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