just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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