I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
