Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
