I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
