i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
