I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
