Your tits are I can't wait for
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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