For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
